Book tour delayed by my arrest
Uncategorized / January 26, 2017

The launch of the divine roosters & angry clowns book tour once again failed to leave the station after I was arrested only days before my scheduled Monday appearance on the Sauger, Tennessee, morning television talk show, Let’s Hook Us Up Some Bluegill. The distressing calamity began Friday afternoon when I received a call from my publicist Butch Whistles who I hadn’t spoken to ever since I called him days earlier to complain about my cancelled interview with Very Uninteresting Newsmakers with Gil Frost. At that time Butch was in the middle of a card game at the Pala Indian casino and needed to cut our conversation short. Despite a promise to call me back as soon as possible, Butch became incommunicado. Now he had resurfaced and was eager to explain his absence. According to Butch, he had been fully intent on contacting me but had become sidetracked when he won a huge pot in a high stakes game of Vegas 3 Rummy. Unaccustomed to such good fortune, Butch celebrated the rare gambling success by getting blind drunk in the casino bar. Butch remembered little of the evening, other than a vague image of the voluptuous woman from the escort service he had hired…